Game of Thrones Episode Seven: You Win Or You Die Review

What an episode! What a Show! So much to cover! Once again Game of Thrones marches on with its blend of superbly structured story-telling, captivating and unusual characters and spectacular set pieces which sets it apart from anything else on telly at the moment. This week was more of the same. We saw Ned Stark confront Cersei about her incestuous affair with her brother Jaime and the spawning of their inbred children. Her tells her that he knows all about their sordid secret, despite it being the reason that Jon Arryn was killed and Bran was almost killed. That takes a lot of guts. Whereas any other hero of a fantasy epic would plot to have Cersei and her spawn arrested or killed, Ned is bound by duty and honour and thus instead confronts her himself and gives her an ultimatum: leave King's Landing and take her children with her, thus giving Cersei time to think of a plan and act. Maybe old Ned Stark just don't give a fuck no more. He's not a typical hero, he's an ordinary nobleman whose loyal to the King, something which will prove his undoing. This series is all about subverting archetypes. Ned isn't a typical protagonist, and the Lannisters aren't typical antagonists. Speaking of the Lannisters, we finally meet the patriarch of the clan, Tywin Lannister. He's only in one scene in which he nonchalantly scolds Jaime for starting a war with the Starks while defending the Lannister name and telling him they have to take power. He does this while skinning a deer, of course, this being his first scene in a show where there are many character-defining first scenes. When we first saw The Mountain he was shanking a poor knight; Tyrion was first seen lancing a whore; Lysa's first scene saw her breastfeeding her eight year old son. His first scene depicted Tywin as both a butcher and a chess master, a ruthless power monger and a proud father. Great characters can be summed up in a few exchanges of dialogue. This is a great character.
Back to the story, and fortunately for Cersei, King Robert is mortally wounded from a hunting accident off screen and as he prepares to die, he appoints Ned as keeper of the realm until Joffrey, the next in line, comes of age. Renly offers Ned one hundred men to perform a coup d'etat to seize the crown for him (Renly) and arrest the Lannisters, while Ned refuses, instead sending word that Renly's older brother is to take the throne since he's next in line. Next, Ned confides in Baelish that Joffrey is in fact Jaime's son. Then it's reported that Robert has died (off screen) and that Joffrey has taken the throne. This leads to the climax in the throne room between Ned and Cersei, where Ned (too late, mind you) reveals the King's dying wish for Ned to be Lord of the Realm, which Cersei ignores. When Ned orders his men to arrest Joffrey and Cersei, the knights turn on Ned and his kill his men. Baelish holds a knife to Ned's throat, he has betrayed his trust.
The "bound by duty" aspect of Ned's character is apparent here. He refuses Renly's offer of help despite all the allies he needs. He tells Baelish, a man obsessed with Catelyn and looking for revenge, Cersei's secret. Lastly, he refuses to have Lord Banniston killed since "he's a good man". As Baelish, or Renly, points out, Ned has the power, but has failed to grasp it. Despite all the signs and signals, Ned has fallen into an avoidable trap because of his character. He has failed to act like the Hand to the King despite Rob's urging, and now he's facing certain death. The moment where Baelish revealed his true colours, first in that scene with the two whores and the then in the final scene, sent chills down my spine and made me sympathise with Ned, who's already wary of everyone and everything as it is. Baelish came across as a near psychotic snake, which was weird since I had taken a liking to his character. His scene with Varys a few episodes ago was a red herring it seems, and his betrayal of Ned struck a chord with me.
Speaking of which, across the seas, the assassination attempt on Dany is made, but Mormant, a spy with a change of heart, intervenes and saves her. The assassination attempt starts a chain reaction to Khal Drogo making the badass speech everyone's been waiting for. This was a great moment in the episode and solidifies Drogo as someone not to be messed with. I cannot wait until the Dothraki start fucking shit up, and I personally hope Drogo shanks Joffrey in the heart.
Finally, Jon Snow and company become Men of the Black Watch. After throwing a hissy fit when he isn't assigned as a ranger, but instead a steward, Snow takes the vow and learns that Benjen might be dead, killed by the White Walkers, yet another threat. Lannisters, Dothraki, Starks, White Walkers. Shit is about to get real.

Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle Episode 4: Stand Up

This week, Stewart Lee casts his beady eye over stand up, specifically musical stand up and modern stand up. To do this he spends the half hour sitting in a chair holding a guitar, commenting that "that's what all the young comics do". While continuously tuning said guitar, he gets going recounting an experience working in a library before he was a stand up. However, this soon devolves into a falsetto ad-libbed account of a conversation between two librarians serving as a metaphor for his comedy career, possibly as a comment towards both his critics and his supporters. He then compares comedy in the eighties (where everyone hated the Tories) to comedy today (where everyone hates their electrical appliances) before going into a spiel attempting observational humour regarding broken toasters and receipts, having a pop at stadium comics such as Michael McIntyre, which is always welcome. From there he goes on to talk about how the IRA are preferable to Al Qaeda due to their politeness, their goals and their "British ways", even if they don't want to be British. This took us to the end of the half hour when Stew serenaded the audience with a Bob Dylan style ditty about modern comedy jokes, featuring callbacks to the toaster routine.

While I didn't find the song funny, I guffawed at the librarian routine and the toaster bit, and even the IRA stuff. The line "when I attempt observational comedy, it just ends up being electrical consumer advice" is a particular highlight, as was the line "he is a funny librarian, you just need to see other librarians to get what he's all about." With the latter quote, Lee could've ended the bit there and then and moved on and it still would have been hilarious; but of course, that isn't his style, as we know by now. I'm beginning to see that each week he relays similar jokes, but with different content, not that I'm complaining. I suppose that's why he's adopted the guitar part of his routine, something he used in the show, If You Prefer A Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One. Throughout the programme, several members of the audience get up to leave, presumably offended that Lee dislikes Al Qaeda. This happens so often in his shows that Lee jokes that instead of the camera cutting to some celebrity laughing like on Live at the Apollo, a montage should be shown of people leaving the show in droves. This happens during the song and Lee stops the show dead to scold the man, saying it's obviously near the end. Thirty seconds to go, what a cheek. I found Lee himself to be more melancholic than usual, what with being extra competitive; the IRA joke was years old and his jibes at other comedians seemed more throw away than before. Maybe doing a second series has taken his toll on Mr. Lee. It still ticks the right boxes and raises a titter, so it's all right by me.

Game of Thrones Episode Six: A Golden Crown Review

This week saw some great moments of character and story, picking up the pace last week with a fast moving pace and several brilliant set pieces, tied up in a great conclusion. Game of Thrones continues where it left off, with Ned Stark awakening from the attack by Jaime Lannister, with a war brewing between the Stark and Lannister houses. In the first scene we see Cersei accuse Ned of kidnapping Tyrion and provoking Jaime into a fight while Robert is caught between the two. Rob insists that Ned remain Hand of the king, because of his bond to him, and instructs him to fill in on his kingly duties while he's absent. The main focus was on Ned sitting in for the King while he was hunting, dealing with the Lannisters' crimes in the countryside. Learning that Lord Lannister's knight, Ser Gregor, aka "The Mountain" has been terrorizing villages, Ned strips him of his titles and orders him to be arrested. If Lord Lannister refuses, then he is to be killed. The scene with Ned promising the villagers justice and giving Gregor and Lord Lannister their sentencing was a character defining moment and an awe-inspiring moment. It shows how fearless Ned is, ignoring the king's advisers and Lannister's wealth and power, doing something that the King would never have done while fully aware of the consequences. Tyrion has already been kidnapped, and with Ned, acting as king, ordering for Lannister's arrest, that's just asking for trouble. Ned also realises, after consulting the book of lineage, that Prince Joffrey is the only Baratheon who does not have black hair and thus can't be Robert's son. How much has he worked out? Jon Arryn was last seen tracking down the King's bastard children, possibly looking for the rightful heir. The moment of Ned's realisation as to why Jon Arryn died is another watershed moment in the series as the pieces start to fit together, which leaves the audience satisfied.
Else where, Lord Tyrion, having been captured by the Tully sisters in the previous episode, tricks his way to a trial, a "combat trial", as it happens, where a champion fights for each side of the case. The mercenary Bronn volunteers to fight for Tyrion's freedom and duels with a knight of the Vale in a excellent choreographed fight scene. Of course, Bronn wins and Tyrion is set free, much to Catelyn and Lysa's chagrin. Tyrion has become my favourite character of the series, besides Eddard. The scene where he gives his "heartfelt" speech about his crimes was golden and how he talked Lysa into giving him a trial is hilarious another character-defining scene. Here is this arrogant rich lord who may have killed someone, yet he is so charming that he could possibly get away with anything with his wit and likeability. He has me won over.
Finally, after a one-episode hiatus, we return to the Dothraki, where Dany, impervious to fire, like a true dragon, undergoes a ritual where she eats a horse's heart. Seeing how Dany has gained the Dothraki's love, Viserys throws a jealous wobbler and, after attempting to steal Dany's dragon eggs, gatecrashes a feast in this week's final scene and threatens to take Dany away if Khal Drogo doesn't give him an army to rebel against Robert. When Viserys threatens to cut the baby out of Dany, Khal agrees to give him a "golden crown", by pouring molten gold over his head, burning him to death. This scene is genius for numerous reasons. Firstly, it's a scene where Dany realises that her brother only cares about power and not for her at all. She also realises that he's weak and not worthy of leading an army. As she coldly says in one of the best lines of the series, "He was no dragon, fire cannot kill a dragon." This truly is a quotable episode, and Khal Drogo's first English words are also unforgettable: "You are no king." Just about sums it up. Finally, Harry Lloyd plays Viserys' breakdown perfectly. Simply, he's just a child, a human and sympathetic child who's been cast aside by society and now his family. His final moments were heartbreaking and Lloyd never went into cartoon villain territory. Very well done.
This was an episode where a lot happened, but it wasn't about that. It was the little things, the character moments, that made it so great. There were so many great moments and quotes. A real gem. Next week, will Rob have his wish and kill Dany? How will the Lannisters react to Ned's orders? And what will Ned do now that he knows the truth of Jon Arryn? I know how I'll find out.

Doctor Who Series 6: Episode 5 Review

This week, it was Doctor Who meets Blade Runner in the first of a two-parter. Our heroes encounter a futuristic industrial  acid factory on a small Scottish Island where the workers, in a bid to curb workplace fatalities, use a substance called "Flesh" to create doppelgängers of themselves. The setting of this factory island is claustrophobic and unsettling. After ten minutes of plot exposition, a storm hits the factory and, in the ensuing chaos, the "gangers" break free of their bonds and go walk about. The Doctor informs the workers that the gangers share the memories of the originals, and as such, are technically them, and technically human. However, they are scared and disoriented and will attack when provoked. Throw in a philosophical theme of identity and what it is to be human, a case of mistaken identity and lots of dark tunnels and you have a very enjoyable Doctor Who episode. There's lots of drama built up over the forty five minutes with the Doctor trying, and failing, to have the gangers and the originals reconcile with one another before they are pitted against each other inevitably in stealth guerilla warfare. The gangers are convinced that they are the originals, since they share the memories and personalities of the people, thus making them misunderstood antagonists, another recurring theme this series.
On the subject of the antagonists, I found the "Rebel Flesh" to be unimaginative and boring. The "us and them" kill-or-be-killed mentality was predictable and tedious, the dramatic turning point where the gangers turn against their creators had little impact, but the gangers look scary so I suppose it's okay. It's just after the episodes with The Silence, this episode is unoriginal in comparison, drawing on elements from past episodes to fill out a rather thin plot. I don't mind that the "Flesh" weren't aliens, because it's still set in the future and still a science fiction story. What I've noticed in this series is the lack of imagination in regards to the monsters and villains. The Silence were large, pussy alien heads in suits, and this week the Flesh were white things with no noses and blue eyes. It seems the writers aren't interested in fantastical monsters, which I can understand given the tone of Series Six. While I know the aim of the series is to make the stories more psychological and less about fantasy, I expect more in a Doctor Who in 2011. Or maybe the budget forced the writers to make compromises. The story, which I can tell is influenced by Philip K Dick with the themes of identity, humanity and reality, seemed thin and I can't see how it would stretch over two episodes. We'll just have to wait and see.
The thing I like about this series is that Rory is given plenty to do. His interactions this week with the Jennifer ganger are heartbreaking and give the episode depth and added drama. Rory has really grown into a fully formed, interesting character who I care about. However, the character of Amy has seemed to regress to someone who gets in the way, questions the doctor when other characters do the same and calls after Rory whenever they get separated. It's obviously building towards something in the future and she does serve a purpose, but in the meantime, it's like she isn't needed and is there for decoration. If it wasn't for the "baby" teaser at the beginning of the episode, I would've said she serves no purpose. Ah, well. Have to wait and see, won't we.
Matt Smith, on the other hand, IS the Doctor. Everything about him is so alien and other worldly. Such great acting from him; he's really grown into the role and all his little traits and catchphrases, to me, are synonymous with Doctor Who. Great acting and great writing, especially this series where he's been a real "take-charge" kind of guy. He steals every scene he's in and he commands the room easily. The workers in the factory are all memorable and are some of the better one-off characters this series so far. They were believable and helped make the dramatic scenes all the more absorbing. All in all, a good episode and the twist at the end, while not in the least bit shocking or inventive, will ensure that next week's conclusion to the storyline will be similarly engaging.

Stewart Lee Comedy Vehicle, Episode Three: Charity

I might be bold here when I say the third episode of Stewart Lee's comedy series, his second on the subject of charity, is the best and funniest one yet. It's certainly crowd pleasing, with Lee doing jokes on the millionaire ITV (shudder) presenter, Adrian Chiles, and Russell Howard, for their work for the charity Sport Relief, which by far outweigh Lee's 55-60 charity shows his does per year. Lee goes into full on bitter mode gloriously, calling back to his jibes at Chiles last year, which revolved around Chiles being compared with a Toby jug, before going into a joke about him doing the unthinkable and shaving his beard off for charity, describing in childlike detail about the process of shaving, noting that Chiles raised £60,000, a tenth of his fee from ITV. Unlike other victims of Lee's visceral hatred, namely Joe Pascquale, Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond and Tom O'Connor, Chiles is more accepted as a figure of mockery, universally viewed with loathing, so the audience is expected to be on side with Lee. At first I wasn't a fan of the piece, since Chiles was too easy a target, but I quickly figured out the rant was to mock his "generosity" and play on Lee's "insecurity", I knew what lay ahead: an off-microphone rant. But not yet.
After attacking Chiles' measly charitable feat compared to his 65-75 shows a year, Lee draws his attention to another charitable comedian, Russell Howard. Lee touched upon Russell Howard and Mock the Week team in his latest live show, "If You Prefer a Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One," in the midst of a piece towards Frankie Boyle in which he cited those comedians as "angry young men". So an extended routine on Russell Howard was inevitable. Here, Lee talks about the young Russell comic doing a sponsored bike ride for Sport Relief, for which he raised £44,000, but, through some long calculations, Lee works out that if he gave up his job as a comedian and spent more time bike riding, he could have raised £13 million, but he chose not to. That is why he's the reason for Lee's angst.
In an inspired spiel, Lee takes swipes at Howard's comedy styling ('What about Ninjas') and Mock The Week for "mocking the weak" (particularly Susan Boyle for having a hairy face) and spitting at Downs Syndrome people. He words his rant in a way that Russell Howard wouldn't know if Lee was insulting or complimenting him. Lee goes into a monologue from the perspective of a dying African child mourning over Howard's refusal to make more money for the charity. Maybe this is a response to a "joke" Russell Howard did where he called out people who moaned about the wheely bins being changed once a week, implying that it's nothing compared to a starving child. It was very right-on, but not in a humorous Stewart Lee way. The utterly absurd monologue from this dying child included quotable gems such as 'Russell Howard must want us all to die, why ? why?' and 'he had to go on Mock the Week- to make sure Susan Boyle is ugly and mental.'
Lee's audience, broadsheet reading intellectuals who hate BBC 3, were sure to be eager to laugh at Russell's mocking as much as I was, since I don't care for Howard's pseudo weekend liberal student humour. Lee was quick to point out Howard's hypocrisy by noting that Howard laughed on MTW whenever someone would make fun of a mentally handicapped person. Lee laments that he struggles to pay babysitting fees and goes to 90-95 charity gigs, and yet Russell Howard is clearly more generous, arguably justifying the whole rant.
The show's sketch played during the credits and was essentially a Toby jug being pissed in, a callback to the Adrian Chiles bit. Clearly this episode was the best one yet. High on comedy and momentum, low on quick cut away and quick gags. What a week for the telly programmes I watch.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Review

Pirates of the Caribbean may just be this generation's answer to Indiana Jones, or Flash Gordon. It's the return of the classic adventure film, short in realism, but high on entertainment. It's superior to the two previous sequels. It seemed to me that this film was made as an apology for the convoluted mess that was "World's End", a way of bookending the saga in style. Gone are the needless exposition clogging up portions of the film, long, boring repetitive action set pieces, Orlando Bloom with a laughable attempt at a tough guy impression and Keira Knightly's chin. Instead we have a relatively easy to follow plot, plenty of eye candy, genuinely funny jokes and moments, likeable protagonists, love interests and villains, and plenty of digestible action.
There were some glaring issues I had that are unavoidable when writing a review. Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow takes centre stage in this film, whereas in the original trilogy he played second fiddle to Orlando Bloom. Now, I had my doubts whether Sparrow should be the main protagonist, since his whimsical, roguish act works best as a sidekick who the audience doubts and whose motives and goals aren't too clear. Take a similar character, Han Solo, a rogue who isn't always on the same side of the protagonist. He may be at odds with the heroes, like Solo was with Luke and Leia, and may be acting on selfish intentions, such as Solo saving Leia so he could pay off Jabba the Hutt. However, by the end of the film, the character may have a change of heart and reveal his true, noble colours and tip the scales in the hero's favour, as Han Solo does when he helps Luke blow up the Death Star. The same can be said of Sparrow in the first Pirates film, where he aids Will Turner in rescuing Elizabeth with the intention of getting back his ship, but ends up helping the good guys save the day. In "On Stranger Tides", there's none of that. You also need an outsider, an every man who the audience can identify with and have things explained to them. In the first "Pirates" film, that honour fell to Will Turner. We are invited to react, along with him, at the more fantastical elements of the film and at Jack Sparrow, who is supposedly nothing short of other-worldly. In this film, we don't have that. We are kept in the dark about Sparrow's intentions so we can't really relate to his emotionally, but when it seems that he doesn't have anything up his sleeve at all other than to help Angelica in exchange for his ship, it feels anti-climactic. Where is the famous Sparrow bluff? How will he get what he wants? But that happens off screen with Gibbs retrieving the Black Pearl in the bottle. Sparrow is still the same character, but less shady and more in the limelight, and it felt a little flat.
Penelope Cruz, well, is absolutely gorgeous, and a great "love interest". I felt some chemistry between her and Depp and she seemed to be having fun in the role. A real treat and my favourite thing in the film, an equal to Jack. Moving on...
Geoffrey Rush as Captain Barbossa is great, and seems to fill the aforementioned disloyal rogue role left by Sparrow. He's a privateer in the British Navy now, sans one leg, and has been sent by the King to find the Fountain of Youth before the Spanish do. He sets off in pursuit of Black-Beard's ship, the Queen Anne's Revenge, but has an ulterior motive: he plans on getting revenge on Black-beard for attacking and sinking the Black Pearl and taking his leg. Barbossa provided a lot of the laughs as an old sea dog who raises an eyebrow at the stupidity of those around him and at Jack Sparrow. He's a great character, and I wish we would have got more scenes between him and Jack and Black-beard, as I thought the back story where he lost his leg could have been expanded alot more and make the audience care, but other than that, he's fine. A memorable performance.
Ian McShane stars as the closest thing to a villain the film has, Captain Black-beard. I say closest thing, since he doesn't do anything particularly evil. Yes, he does kill someone, ONE mutineer, and yes he does have a cool gimmick of being able to control his fire-breathing ship. He looks like the stock villain, has a classic villain entrance, and some great lines and a bad-ass boat, but he's less of a villain and more of a strict task master. Apart from killing one man in a boat and leaving a mermaid to die he doesn't do anything. Okay, he sunk the Black Pearl and maimed Barbossa, but that was off screen, part of the back story. He's ineffectual to be honest and despite threatening people with death and teasing a missionary, he doesn't give off the impression that he's the most feared pirate in the world. He wants the Fountain of Youth so he can live longer- why should we care? And why would Jack Sparrow, the nearest thing to a hero, want to deprive him of that? He doesn't, and is quite happy to help Black-beard and Angelica find the Fountain. Shouldn't the hero have beef with the villain because, I don't know, Black-beard sunk the Black Pearl. Instead its Barbossa who has the revenge storyline. Maybe Sparrow and Barbossa should have teamed up to bring Black-beard down. Or maybe they did and I'm forgetting large plot points in the film and that's what happened. I believe Sparrow led Barbossa to the fountain, but he seemed angry at Barbossa for losing the ship than at Black-beard. A scene, 30-seconds maybe, showing Sparrow's reaction to Black-beard's crime and how he was being strung along by Angelica, giving us reason to care of a conflict that doesn't happen. There are no stakes at risk until the very end where we get the big "climactic battle", but it's like comparing Goldfinger to From Russia With Love. There's no emotional investment in what happens to the world, but what happens to the characters. However, I felt an opportunity with the father-daughter sub plot. It could have been left ambiguous, maybe Black-beard could have kidnapped her and made her his daughter or killed her real parents and used her to emotionally blackmail Jack Sparrow, I don't know. But there was an opportunity to turn that into something great, but, alas, it wasn't.
Such sub plots such as the romance between Jack Sparrow and Penelope Cruz's character, Angelica, and between the clergy man and the mermaid, are subverted and go against audience expectations. There's a clever twist at the climax involving what people want from the Fountain of Youth. Religious themes are explored without being shoved down our throats, the villain, Black-beard played by Ian McShane is no mere pantomime villain ala Davy Jones or Barbossa, but seems like a genuine person. There are little things that make all the difference, such as Stephan Graham's character, Scrum, providing a soundtrack to a heated discussion and deal between Sparrow and Angelina, the Queen Anne's Revenge crew plotting a mutiny with Jack, and a henchman throwing a voodoo doll of Jack over a cliff followed by a close up of the real Jack screaming. Yes, there's no shortage of laughs, I'm not ashamed to admit it. There are some weird bits like the stuff with the mermaids and the missionary that's bound to leave eyes rolling and heads being scratched, but that doesn't last very long. It doesn't drag and while the plot may be thin, there's still plenty to enjoy. The music, the characters, the set-pieces, all part of a Hollywood tapestry. I know people who will complain at the stupidity at it all and how it isn't realistic. Well, that's because it's pure fantasy, so lighten up. It's the great adventure film.
There's a satisfying climax where all plot points and parties converge. Nothing is forgotten about, no character is left behind, the dialogue is sharp and nothing seems pointless. Possibly it may have had something to do with the change of director. Some of the problems come down to sparse plot and sloppy writing, but the point of these films is escapism and fun. It's good at what it is: family-friendly fun with something for everyone. When that "Pirates" theme starts up at the start of a sword fight, just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Game of Thrones Episode 5: The Wolf and The Lion Review

I'll just say this: Episode Five may be the best so far this series. The characters and settings are established, although I'm still getting my head around the different names and characters and what they do and who's dead and who killed here and the like. The audience are used to the various plots. Now we get the action, the blood shed and the conspiracy. So much was going on this week as the series picks up the pace, thus becoming unmissable. There are numerous set pieces to comment on, but first, the plot. The main talking point, which is saying something, is that the King's court has discovered that the exiled Daenerys Targaryen is pregnant with Khal Drogo's child, and so orders Ned Stark to kill her. Ned refuses this dishonourable act and steps down as Hand to the King, angering King Rob. This is after Ned learns from Arya that she heard of a plot to kill him from Verys, part of the King's Council. Meanwhile, Catelyn takes Tyrion to her sister, Lysa, paranoid and mad over the death of her husband,  the previous Hand to the king Jon Arryn, whose death was being investigated further by Ned. Ned learns that Jon was murdered for 'asking too many questions' while tracking down King Robert's bastard children. Lysa is mad, all right, and still breast feeds her eight year old son, Robin, in a creepy, creepy scene. I was nervous watching these two unhinged characters screech at Tyrion, who had just saved Catelyn's life. She blames the Lannisters for her husband's death and locks Tyrion in a dungeon. News of Tyrion's arrest reaches Jaime who ambushed Ned just as he's ready to leave King's Landing. Jamie orders his men to kill Stark's men in brutal fashion, before engaging in a brilliantly directed sword fight with Ned. This is a milestone set piece in the series. First, it shows that anyone could die, as seen with Jory getting a dagger in the eye, it establishes Ned as a hard as nails bastard and Jaime as a heartless bastard. The sacrificial lamb count was expanded with Jory's death. For a few seconds the character's death looked to really affect Ned and cement Jaime as an enemy. A lot was at stake here as Ned had just earned the wrath of the King and is now an outsider. Plus, Jaime wants revenge for the arrest of his brother, who's being held captive by the widow of Jon Arryn, and wants to get him back. As with last week, GOT ends the episode on a strong note, with possibly the best scene yet. With all these new characters and conspiracies coming to light, there's so much to look forward to.
There are many characters and plot points being expanded upon in this episode. We have three instances of characters showing their good side. We have the Hound saving Ser Loras from the wrath of his brother, the Mountain in a scene that was gory and memorable. When you start an episode with a horse being beheaded and a sword fight between these two brothers, you know you're watching something special. The moment when The Hound dropped to his knee at the King's command showed what a potentially interesting character he is, more than a bodyguard for Joffrey, but a disciplined and loyal soldier, more so than his barbaric brother. Lord Tyrion saved Catelyn despite being her prisoner, although we knew that Tyrion wouldn't do anything less. Also, King Robert and Cersei appear to be civil to one another when talking at King's Landing. We saw another side to the Queen here other than the manipulative schemer we know. We also learn that Jorah Mormant is a spy working for Varys, who is fact plotting against the king himself, something Petyr knows about. As Baelish said in a previous episode, everyone is a spy for someone. Who else is a spy? Who will betray who? The King's brother, Renly, is part of another conspiracy with his ambitious lover, Loras. Characters such as Verys were established in just a few scenes. Alliances and loyalties are uncertain, bastard children turn up everywhere. This is officially my favourite current programme on right now, and I can't wait for next week's.

Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle Episode 2: London

This week on his Comedy Vehicle, Stewart Lee talked about the Countryside and people who move from London to go to the country side. A natural choice of material for Stew, who talks about such things in his latest live show, "If You Prefer a Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One." He managed to work in the bit about the visible otters and the phone conversation with the imaginary estate agent. There, he recited a false ad-libbed discussion that was played for laughs in its tedium and awkward pauses, giving the impression that he may be dying (in the stand-up sense of the word), only to win back the audience by cluing them in that the improvised joke isn't going very well and should have stopped. "I should have left it at 'visible otters.'" He saves the joke in a way that Eddie Izzard or one of those comics would've done. The gag was actually a segue-way into a 40-minute section dedicated to Top Gear and Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond (not a real hamster). Here, he expands on the conversation, expand meaning stretched out pauses and comments on the audience. And it was great. I believe the man could have stretched the routine out to twenty minutes and still keep the audience laughing if given the chance. I can't do the joke justice writing it down as I can't capture Stew's voice and desperation. Of course, there's pay off thanks to the man's brilliant comic timing, something that he has truly mastered since his last series.
The main "gag" of the episode surrounded the notion that country life is better than city life. After some musings about armed babies in Hackney and Stew offering his wife to the school board in order to get their child into a good school (It's for their future), Lee talks about the pleasures the countryside offers. Mainly a field, a horse in the field and comedy shows from that one in 'Max & Paddy' (not Peter Kay). This leads to a 'conversation' between Lee and his friend, who's moved to the country with his family, and is now inviting Stew down for the weekend. Needless to say, the character of the friend gets desperate in trying to convince him, lying about two horses in the field and Peter Kay performing. This builds up to the friend repeatedly and monotonously confessing that the horse killed himself, asking Lee to bring cocaine, before begging him to kill the family with a shotgun and burning the house down in typical Stewart Lee breakdown mode. As per tradition with Stewart Lee's shows, he created a divide between sectors of the audience into those who were with his jokes, and those who lagged behind. I like it when he chastises the audience for expecting a joke or a different joke when there isn't one. He also makes an extended reference to those at home in 'TV land' again, commenting bitterly on the graveyard time slot.
I prefer the new format this series has adopted of more stand up meaning more time for building up jokes rather than little throwaway jokes in between unfunny sketches. The discussions Lee has with Ianucci is inspired; probably inspired by real life critics complaining that he doesn't do enough jokes ("It was good but I found it awful!"). Indeed this kind of negative reviews and sound bites from comment sections of You Tube and various news sites have been included into Stew's act and have also found their way onto his website, as they are perfect fodder for his bitter middle-aged comedian routine. Even a quote from The Sun, ' Worst comedian in Britain, as Funny as the bubonic plague,' has made it onto the back cover of his memoir, 'How I escaped my certain fate.'
I can't really comment on Stewart Lee like I would other comedians because the less jokes the better. The callbacks and repetition make the whole routine, no matter how light on material and relevance to anything, worth it and funny. So, was it funny? Some of it is. To be honest the repetition is grating but only if the joke wasn't funny to begin with. That said, I was lost on the bit about the schools because, as Lee astutely pointed out, I can't relate to being a parent and what being a parent means. Other than that, genius. Oh, and the sketch at the end was very funny. The theme for this series seems to be the image Lee has moulded throughout the episode being brought to life; in this case, Lee riding through the countryside on a motorbike as the pearly king toting a shotgun, riding past a dead horse with its throat cut to a house before entering the house and killing those inside. Next week's episode focusses on charity. That was the subject last week, but he ended up talking about crisps, so he's doing it again. Maybe he'll talk about different flavours of crisps...plain...all the flavours.

Doctor Who Series 6: Episode 3 Review

The surprisingly dark road of Doctor Who continued last Saturday. It begins with  presenting us with a pirate adventure before taking a dark turn after five minutes and brilliantly subverting the audience's expectations and taking us into a Hollywood Slasher programme crossed with a ghost story. After two dark and scary Who episodes, I was expecting a light hearted affair about pirates and, this being Who, some sort of alien. Instead we got a ghost who would appear from reflective surfaces and "kill" those who were injured or who drew blood. It should be noted at this juncture that instead of killing her victims, the siren was revealed to be some sort of Florence Nightingale figure from a parallel universe who rescues injured or dying people and keeps them alive. This continues New Who's pattern of misunderstood and relatively harmless alien antagonists, such as the aliens who lived down the mine last season. There's also a subtle parallel between the siren and the Doctor. The siren can in theory save people from death yet not heal them, while the Doctor can heal himself and stop him from dying. Neither, however, can save other people from dying. I actually liked this plot immensely; the fear of getting injured only slightly or else the "killer" appears, the suffocation of being trapped on a ship in the middle of the ocean, the twist that the victims are not really dead but instead are being kept alive in another universe, all very well done. Hats off to the writers. If this was the only plot and had no children in it, this episode would be perfect. As it is, it's a fine entry into the Who series, keeps the tone and feel of the series consistent, which is a plus.
The three main characters were their usual bouncy selves. The Doctor played arrogant, sarcastic detective, making witty observations in the face of doom. He works out how the siren is getting in rather quickly, and takes time to scoff at the notion of a pirate curse. You'd think a time-travelling alien would be a little more open minded. Since this series looks to be darker, we see another side of the Doctor that we haven't before. Last week saw the s*** eating cockiness at the prospect of alien genocide side to the Doctor. He shoots his gun while exchanging witty words with River Song. This week we see the Doctor shouting at people angrily in the rain, scolding the captain for not discarding something which endangered the crew. He seems more like an action man than ever before, but since the stakes are high and peoples' lives are at risk, it is understandable. Meanwhile, Amy, looking good as a pirate wench, jumps between jumpy and questiony, scalding the Doctor one minute and protecting her man, Rory, the other. The usual routine. Speaking of Rory, he almost dies twice this week. Again. Only he's brought back to life by the end of the episode. The character seems to exist as someone for the Doctor and Amy to rescue every episode, to pull some worried and bemused faces and act as an Everyman for the audience to relate to, at least the ones who hate women and mumbling nerds in their twenties. The actor does a good job and has great chemistry with Karen Gillen.
The supporting cast was pretty forgettable, particularly the main pirate guy, the captain. Like almost all the one-shot characters from the last series, he reacted to the Doctor and the TARDIS in the same way, with awe but not exactly shock, before questioning the hero at every turn. We are expected to care about him because he spends the episode hanging around the Doctor and looking forlorn. There was also a ten-second sub plot about mutiny. Of course, this being New Who, an annoying child had to be shoe horned into the story, probably to remind the audience that this is still meant to be family entertainment. Unlike the child (or was it?) in last week's episode, this annoying brat adds nothing to the story and the episode would be near perfect if it wasn't for him and his back story. This week's child is a ship stowaway and also the captain's son. We are given this contrived, tacked on sub plot about the captain valuing his treasure over his family (!) and abandoning them to go off on cool pirate adventures. That's fine, except that this all seems pretty banal in the face of a killer ghost who prays on those who bleed. We have these characters that show up for this episode (probably, sadly they don't die at the end) with this cliché, groan inducing sub plot. I personally didn't care about these characters, nor did I sympathise with them. There was one absurd visual of the newly reconciled father-son team flying off into deep space in a space ship with the rest of the crew in a moment which pulls us back into sci-fi fantasy. That being my only gripe, I enjoyed this week's episode, and the preview to next week's looks promising with the usual blend of zany humour and scary grit. I'll be watching.

Game of Thrones Episode 4: Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things

Huzzah! A lot happened this week, as per usual, in Game Of Thrones. The curly haired Jon Snow is now top dog on the Nights watch and has made friends with a fat, clumsy coward named Sam, protecting him from bullies before confessing that he's a virgin due to being afraid of bringing another bastard into the world. I don't know what to make of that. Jon and Sam bond over them being outcasts The writers are really exploring the possibilities of what being an outcast and being branded a bastard could do to poor Jon, to being an overachiever in order to be accepted into the family, to being so mentally scarred that he hasn't had sex. In a way, Jon is the most relatable character to its main audience. He's a socially awkward loner, yet skilled at fighting and virtuous towards his family. The mystery of his birth mother has been sizzling under the surface for a while now, and this week we see the effect it has on him. No doubt the truth of his parentage will be a huge milestone in the series and I'm looking forward to it. Because of the possibilities of the character, I'm warming to him more and more. In a nice scene, Jon and Sam are put in their place by the jerk-ass turned bad-ass drill sergeant, and we learn what winter is like in the seven kingdoms. Winter is coming, as Ned and King Robert say. Jon never knew his mother. A war is coming. Mysteries, mysteries.
Ned Stark (Sean Bean) looked into the death of Jon Arryn, former steward to the former king, hinting that he may have been murdered. I would say that was a given due to the murder and treachery we've seen already. His investigation leads him to meeting Chris from Skins, who he identifies as King Robert's bastard love child. Another bastard. Speaking of treachery and murder, Catelyn has Lord Tyrion Lannister seized, thinking he was behind the plot to kill Bran, who we learn this week has lost the use of his legs, a "cripple" if you will. What makes it interesting is that Tyrion sympathises with the boy, being abnormal like him. The twist being that Tyrion, so far one of the more likeable characters in the show, he seems to have no inhibitions and is an id personified, is the one who is now in danger of being punished for his siblings' treachery. Or, in fact, is he innocent? He does seem to know something, as he asked Bran what he saw in the tower. Could he be in on it, is the friendliness a façade? Or is Catelyn being taken for a ride? The only way she knows the blade belonged to Tyrion is from her friend, Baelish, another slippery customer. The scene in the inn where Catelyn has Tyrion arrested is a nice and long scene which built up tension towards the climax of the episode and set the scene for a must watch episode next week. These kind of scenes, which normally go just under ten minutes, are what makes drama for me. Catelyn has returned from Kings Landing. Tyrion thinks he has missed her when he came from Winterfell, and greets her with mirth. And then she begins her monologue about how much power and influence she has over the inn alone and ends the episode by ordering Tyrion's capture. Good stuff.
Speaking of Baelish (see above), this week saw a couple of scenes from him that thickened this late-coming character. We are given a scene which simultaneously shows us two sides to his character. During the King's tournament joust, he speaks to Sansa, first charming her before telling her a chilling story which no one should be told. He gleefully tells her a anecdote about The Hound, aka the guy who killed the butcher's boy in episode 2, and his brother (dubbed "The Mountain"), of how the Hound got his facial scarring. Afterwards he warns her about telling the story to anyone, as it could mean death. What is this guy's deal? How does he exactly know Catelyn? What is he plotting? A coup? As always, mysteries, mysteries.
Finally, Daenerys learns what the viewers knew all along: that the Dothraki won't follow Verserys north for a rebellion against King Robert, and that Verserys isn't a born leader. Paranoid that his sister is becoming commander over the Dothraki over him, he beats his sister until she fights back and threatens to have his hands chopped off. There's also a lot of talk about dragons and dragon eggs which will no doubt come back later as an important plot device. The only gripe I have is that Verserys already attacked Daenerys for going over his head last week, so this week it was slightly repetitive. We did get a good scene between Verserys and his whore slave in a bath talking of dragons, but apart from that there wasn't much going that had already been covered. Maybe Daenerys will take up the army and lead the rebellion herself so she can finally go home. That seems a logical and excellent pay off, if I may say so myself. We shall see.

Stewart Lee Comedy Vehicle, Episode One: Charity

Hot on the heels of his new live show DVD, If you want a milder comedian please ask for one, Stewart Lee returns to our screens with a new series of Comedy Vehicle on BBC 2 with some significant changes to the format and content. For one, the graveyard timeslot it's taken on Wednesday nights is absolutely criminal. Gone is the theme music, replaced by a cold opening of Lee's monosyllabic face. Gone are the sketches, replaced with a mock interview featuring Lee in discussion with Armando Ianucci which is intertwined  with the stand up portions of the show. And gone is the short, snappy segments full of one-liners and  pandering to students. Replacing this is replaced by material that is more reminiscent of his recent shows where he goes off on tangents that are completely unrelated to his original subject matter. And to that I say, "yes!"
This week Lee talked about charity and went into a piece about how his grandfather loves crisps which took up the whole episode. All the flavours of crisps...plain...all the flavours. This was a master-class in comic timing as he had me guffawing at the long, drawn out set up of the jokes. His opening gag about his grandfather living in a nest of poppies because 'charity begins at home' is a great set up and it only gets better from there, as he immediately creates a divide between the live audience and 'those lot in TV land' and draws out the explanation and deconstruction of the joke. As in IYPAMCPAFO, he explains the set up of the routine step by step, saying there's going to be a callback to the opening line. Well, there is, and he reacts with disappointment at some in the audience when they're slow on the uptake. A comedian having mock apathy towards his audience. "It was good". Brilliance.
From there, he launches into a tangent about crisps, which he gets free at charity gigs. The most bags of crisps he got, how he acquires the crisps. "Ed Byrne, a woman and me". I could write out his entire routine but I won't. The long pauses, the repetition and the callbacks are a joy and what's more, very funny. I liked the Armando Ianucci 'interview' and the segment regarding his grand dad loving crisps and everything to do with crisps. The monologue about crisps goes into the absurd and the repetitiveness of it is where the humour lies. He soon has a go at the audience for assuming there are jokes where there aren't any. How absurdly contrived. There's a connection Lee makes between the crisps with the history of his grand dad being in a POW camp. Love it. He then links this to his hatred of the Japanese, and anything to do with the Japanese, painting a picture of Japanese monsters attacking his house (or should I say, nest) and a Japanese Godzilla coming to the rescue, only to be rejected by his Japanese-hating grandfather. And there, is the callback, which leads to Lee dividing the audience between those who remember the nest line and those who don't. "This room is unworkable", Lee declares. "The reconstruction process was time consuming but not expensive" is the first joke thrown into the act, which Lee deliberately ruins by dragging it through a ditch. And we're back to the crisps.
I already prefer this series to the first as the first relied on topical pop culture references such as Television channels and talent shows and books. There's nothing wrong with that, but this new direction Lee has taken with the absurd monologues about the mundane, of a middle-aged comedian on the cusp of a breakdown brought on by modern comedy, is much funnier. I didn't like the sketches in the first series, as they seemed to be purposely unfunny in a bad way and very un-Stewart Lee-like. "This next one is absurd, something like...Noel Fielding would do." Repetition, repetition, purposely ruining jokes, purposely tedious multiple call backs, repetition. I love it. The sketch idea isn't completely abandoned as he acts out in graphic detail, him dressing up as Godzilla and fighting a giant moth while his grandfather and his friends chant "Japs Go Home". Then we wrap up with an "awkward" closing line about his grandfather commenting on his friends in his regiment dying, to which Lee responds, "well, you fed them all those crisps." Call back, joke, job done. I look forward to next week's episode.

Doctor Who Series 6, Episode Two: Day of the Moon Review

As the first two-parter of Series 6 of Doctor Who, written by Steven Moffat, ends, I just have to say, wow! There were times that I jumped, laughed, applauded and let out an audible gasp, something that I would never have done in the past. Indeed, even last series there was something missing. I never reacted the way I would if I was a child. Maybe because back then I was a mere casual, dipping in and out of stories with no real knowledge of the characters or Doctor Who mythology. That ends today. Mr. Moffat, you have my attention, use it well.
What I did know about Doctor Who was that it was a science fiction adventure series aimed for family viewings, hence its prime time slot. I also know its known and beloved for its camp value and light-hearted approach. You could be forgiven for assuming that this was something else entirely. Despite many comedic moments, cringe-inducing and sappy dialogue, and Matt Smith's geeky awkwardness and quirkiness this episode, a continuation of last week's season opener, it packs a punch.
How do you top the Doctor's companion shooting a gun at a crying child? How about our heroes running from FBI agents while covered in tally marks. What about the main protagonist bound to a chair while an impenetrable cell is built up brick by brick? Of course, that's just a twist to fool the government. Lots of twists so far in just two episodes. There's more. How about a dreamlike Lovecraftian sequence where Amy and an FBI agent wonder through an abandoned orphanage with graffiti telling them to leave now slapped all over the walls and big Silent heads hanging from the ceiling like green and bulbous bats in a scene that sent chills down by sweaty spine. The scenes in the orphanage are bordering on horror film material, and I mean that in a good way. Everything I say I mean in a good way when it comes to this episode. Like how some plot points and twists are genuinely confounding and would probably go over most peoples' heads at first.
The main plot is Doctor Who orchestrating the genocide of a race of aliens known as The Silence, first encountered in the previous episode. Yes, really. For some unknown reason (until the very end) the Silence orchestrated the moon landing so they cold acquire a space suit to customize so they could protect a little girl, the same one Doctor and the gang are trying to rescue. The Silence kidnap Amy (Why? probably for the same reason), The Doctor then interrupts the broadcast of Apollo 11 taking off with footage of a Silent saying the humans should kill them (The Silence) on sight. The humans then kill the Silence on sight. All of them. All the while Doctor and River Song exchange quips while murdering the aliens in the room.
It's almost as if Moffat is trying to prove something. To pass something off as family entertainment one minute and then dive into a horror with complex plots, scary set pieces, creepy abandoned houses, gun-ho action heroes and philosophical moments regarding memories and murder. And yet at the same time peppering the script with cringe inducing romantic dialogue, purposely unfunny nerd references and cheese that belong in a sitcom. It's surreal, he's managed to do all this in a Saturday teatime slot. He's made a gritty reboot of Doctor Who and still managed to keep the humour and campiness of it all. Well, hats off to you, Moffat. I personally welcome a change to more drama and grit. Whether parents and families agree or disagree is another blog, which I'm more than willing to write. The episode was great fun with a reason to watch this week's episode: at the very end the girl who the Doctor was trying to save, then subsequently forgotten about, appears and re-generates. She's a Time Lord! That alone got me excited for this series. The mystery, if not the characters and story structure, is enough.
Next episode looks to feature pirates, in pirate times, with the pirates. Last series it was vampires, this series it's pirates. So a good chance of camp to lighten the load after two WTF episodes. And that's cool. Pirates are cool.

Doctor Who Series 6: The Impossible Astronaut Review

And so, Doctor Who returned to our screens two weeks ago in a rather action packed episode full of shocks, twists and catchphrases we've come to expect from Steve Moffat's vision of the time travelling alien drama. The episode started in familiar farcical fashion with a montage of Matt Smith's Doctor going through and making his own history while married couple Amy and Rory "follow" him in text books. We also get our first "Doctor Who?" joke in the episode. After being reminded of Matt Smith's oddball antics the story begins with the main characters and River Song meeting up in America where they encounter an astronaut. Said astronaut shoots Doctor with a laser, and once more before he can regenerate. The Doctor's death is confirmed when an old man stops by and says so. Everyone's sad.
But wait.
Because the Doctor is a time traveller, it's revealed that the dead doctor is from the future, and the er, present doctor arrives soon after, not knowing who invited him to the rendezvous. And thus, begins Series 6 of Doctor Who. There are encounters with historical figures, real world events, ludicrously scary monsters and social awkwardness that will satisfy fans of the new Who. Indeed, it's a good start and I wish Moffat would write all the episodes since his are the strongest. This being the second Matt Smith series, the characters are firmly established and thus we jump straight into the action. The plot is relatively simple enough to engage the viewer first time and there are lots of turns to keep the action riveting and the audience guessing.
This series has taken a risk by starting with such a dark episode in which  the hero dies in the first five minutes and a new enemy, the Silent, is introduced. The Silent are aliens (or are they?) that erase peoples' memory of having seen them, so there's a lot of wondering about in the dark, turning of heads and hiding behind the sofa. Poor Amy, who has a history of bumping into monsters in the dark, is the first (or is she?) to encounter one, and witnesses first hand one of them kill someone. It seems Moffat is a big fan of the concept of death and the loss of memory, as they were both recurring themes in the last series with the story arc of the cracks in time (I think). The Silent monsters follow the pattern of loud, grotesque creatures who live underground and kill anything, another staple of Moffat's. They're suitably sinister and seemingly unstoppable, a perfect Saturday evening prime time foil for Matt Smith. The plot is that they seem to be holding a little girl hostage. The girl calls for President Nixon's help and Doctor and Co go to investigate.
Smith himself is almost perfect. He's very much an otherworldly alien with a penchant for foreign hats. He's likeable  mad and believable in the role. Amy the companion is cute and capable, and Rory is good comic relief. The dialogue sparkles with witty one-liners. A particular favourite which probably went over the heads of the kids is when Doctor gives his companions code names, calling River Song "Mrs Robinson". We are drip fed more clues about River Song's back story this week and maybe possibly a clue that she and someone else have something in common with each other. It's all intriguing, it must be said.

Game of Thrones Episode Three Review

Game of Thrones, the new US Fantasy drama, continued this past Monday night with episode three. After three episodes the story is taking shape, and I can declare myself a fan. I scoffed when I first heard the declaration that this was "The Sopranos meets Middle Earth". The trailers made it seem like a big budget adaptation of 'He-Man' which focussed on magic and sorcery and other crowd-pleasing chicanery with escapism and real world subtext aplenty. As I do with other hyped up dramas, I drifted in and out of a repeat showing of the first episode, getting the gist of the plot which interested me enough to pursue with the second episode. I watched that episode and from then I knew I had a new place to be Monday nights at nine.
This week, after two episodes of edge of your seat action, saw a transitioning as the viewers, now properly acquainted with the characters and their plots, saw Aiden Gillen join up with the cast as Petyr, an advisor to the King and friend of Catelyn Stark. His main role in his debut episode included being a convenient plot device and inform Catelyn that the dagger used by her son Bran's would-be killer belongs to Tyrion Lannister, brother to the incestuous Lannister twins, one of whom is married to King Robert. Got that? The character acts as both an ambiguous ally friend to the Starks and as a cadaverous pimp; a potentially interesting and likeable character played with vigour, and I can't wait to see how his relationship with the Starks and King Robert plays out.
The most confusing aspect of this drama, an aspect that earned repeated viewings from this reviewer, is the locations, and who are where and when. Episode Three had Ned Stark (Sean Bean), hand of the king, arrive in King's Landing, with his daughters, Sansa and Arya. This was a week after he travelled with the king from his home in Winterfell, leaving behind his wife and three sons. His other son, Jon Snow, aka "The Bastard" is at the Nights Watch, a place where they send peasants and deviants to train as warriors to guard a wall. Ned is worried about a tournament when he is joined by Catelyn who reveals to him the plot to kill Bran. Behind the killing are the dodgy and Aryan Lannister twins, who have no qualms about pushing a young boy out of a tower window, ordering a girl's pet wolf to be killed or killing the previous king. These lot are proper bastards, and the only characters whose malicious intent is made clear to the viewers. The Queen is a scheming bitch straight out of a crappy soap opera. Her brother, Jaime, is a smug, heartless dickweed with a square head and Prince Joffrey is a toe rag straight out of a Hollyoaks scriptwriter's guide to youth stereotypes. These twirps tick all the right boxes and press all the right buttons as they smirk, back stab, bitch, do it doggy style, casually talk about infanticide and look smug with their blond hair. It's villain writing 101 but it works surprisingly well because they stick out so much with their casual child-killing, sibling sexing antics that they practically move the action and drama forward. The plot basically revolves around them.
To say that they're the only villains would be a stretch, since the entire cast look as though they have something to hide. Almost everyone takes some time to look scorned with revenge on their mind. King Robert in particular, husband to aforementioned Cersei Lannister, is particularly dog faced and mad looking. He's paranoid about a forthcoming war, "winter", which, as we learned in this episode, is something quite long, arduous and somewhat horrific. Last week he predicted that there will be a war, though he doesn't know who he'll be fighting. Right now, I see two possibilities, but you never know. This week he only had one scene, one in which he shared a story about killing a rebel, and, If I'm the predicting type, I assume that he either kills or gets killed, or goes stark raving mad. I don't know what to make of this character, as he acts like your typical paranoid and mad  king, doomed to be betrayed and be killed, no doubt. He doesn't seem to add anything apart from plot points about how he hates rebels and the Targaryens, which explains how they are exiled at least. He seems like a device to set up another plot later on, like Duncan in Macbeth. Most of his dialogue is of the repetitive nature warning us about winter, he's sadistic and brutish and he isn't exactly sympathetic; the only time he showed some decency was when he hesitated before ordering a pet wolf to be killed. On the other hand, his character serves the purpose of making Ned more humane by comparison. Speaking of Ned, he was busy this week, dealing with his wife's suspicions of the Lannisters wanting Bran dead as well as Arya's tomboy tendencies and enthusiasm for sword fighting. So far we've seen Ned as a cold decapitator of peasants, father to a bastard, so he must be a womaniser, and a concerned father. Sound familiar? Maybe "The Sopranos meets Middle Earth" wasn't that much of a stretch.
The Bastard in question is Jon Snow, who settled into life at the wall with the Nights watch surprisingly quickly. Again, this is a character who I see good things for, though he hasn't done much but look forlorn, possibly due to being called a 'Bastard', first by a dwarf, then by a boy who I thought I recognized from Peep Show. The familiar traits he has that you may have come across before are his eagerness to impress his father and be accepted into the family, and his curiosity about his birth mother. Neither of those really interest me yet, to be honest, but let's wait and see.
Finally, we have Daenerys settling into life as 'khaleesi' of the Dothraki people and wife to Khal Drogo, made possible due to sex tips from a girl from Hollyoaks. This week, after showing her jealous brother who's the boss, Daenerys discovers she's pregnant as well as learning new things about the Dothraki, like how they treat slaves. For the benefit of those who like to explain it in their heads, the Targaryens were exiled by the rebel Robert, now the current king.Viserys Targryen thinks he's the rightful heir to the throne after his father, the former king, was killed by Robert's brother in law, Jaime Lannister. So, he marries off his sister, Daenerys, off to Khal Drogo, leader of the Dothraki, in order to form a rebellion. Pretty much your basic 'Rightful King' storyline involving a prince who's just as cartoonish and indignant as the Lannisters, albeit with ridiculous hair. This is probably the most tedious plot line of the show in its predictability, and I'm only watching for the outcome that will inevitably involve bloodshed, betrayal and more boobies.
Now, you're (?) probably thinking, 'I thought you loved this programme, why the hate?' Well, I'll tell you. You can tell this was adapted from a novel. Information is drip fed to you one scene at a time. Lines and characters that appear non linear become clear much later, so the viewer is rewarded with their patience. This style is reminiscent of The Wire, a programme which resembles a visual novel, and that is what gets me hooked. Intriguing characters are formed within one line of dialogue, the story moves at a brisk pace and each episode ends on a cliffhanger, like a chapter, with some exceptions. I look forward to watching more of Game of Thrones as it unfolds, not necessarily for the unfolding.